Sunday, August 5, 2007

Marco!........polo!


It is a child's swimming pool game, Marco Polo, one person with eyes supposedly closed yelling "Marco" treading water while all others in the pool respond "Polo". Blindly I tread around this urban space waiting to tag someone, something, some sort of contact with anything. To survive out here you always have to work the angles. Then it hit me, like a diamond piercing my forehead, reach out! go big! China! That's right, China, this blog is about surviving in an urban environment, who best to profit from this advice and expertise but the burgeoning urban populace of China. Using a touch of technical wizardry I've installed an instant translation link above. Now I will address my remarks to the people of the great country of China.


Welcome all people of The Peoples Republic of China. I enjoy very much your mass produced products and glorious ancestry. Please heed closely this advice found here in this blog. Click often the Ads By Google box directly to the right for even more prosperous advice. I've included above this photo* of me with tofu plate and cell phone juxtaposed to a scene of my city, Houston, USA. Click on photo to make bigger. Get use to all the cars and traffic, always use your blinker when changing lanes and make sure your mirrors are properly adjusted. Please read my blog, and I will be working diligently on dubbing the video, "R134A Redux", into Mandarin, I'm sure it is hot there too. Thank you very much....Shay Shay

* For some reason the header picture does not show up on translated page.

6 comments:

allison said...

D,

I'm so happy you are our ambassador to China! Could you please do me a favor and ask the Chinese manufacturers to stop making their products fatal? I really do love my Ipod, with all its tiny parts, put together by little Chinese children that don't have to go to school, but I don't want to find out one day that it will give me cancer. After all, I did quit smoking this year and that was a real bitch. I don't want it to be for nothing. Thanks!

Anonymous said...

yes it is all about the angles d- survival for me striving for the isosceles- nice, even, balanced. thats some good "chi" as i'm sure your friends fom china would agree.

Janelle said...

I would like to think you were perhaps inspired by your recent trip the Foster residence and the warm welcome you recieved by the home owner. I agree with Allison, I too enjoy my chinese made ...everything and my beautiful neice from the Hunan Provence who was left in in a picturesque gutter by her parents who couldn't afford to keep her because the taxes are beyond high or because she was unfortunate enough to be born with 2 X chromosomes. Good luck with your ambassadorial duties!!

Man vs Urban said...

Ouch! I did'nt realize that reaching out to the people of China would stir up such discourse. Let us perhaps look upon our own social ills here in the good ole USA before casting too many stones. No ambassadorship here, just a dude trying to share some knowledge. Thanks for your comments! Dimit

ADTEnt, LTD said...

you are fucking hilarious. you might remember that my life story was translated, for the japanese-reading world to see, at one point, and, you know, i really felt like i made a difference. good for you! you'll make a difference, too! the world, especially china, needs your wit and wisdom. do not stray too far from the telephone; beijing will be calling at any given moment.

Janelle said...

Well after todays news of faulty tires, I have come to the conclusion that China may be trying to take over the USA by killing us all(and our pets) with there mass produced toothpastes and dogfood. I don't think this is what Nixon had in mind.